Archive for the 'novellas' Category

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Very soon, a new edition of Forever Fifteen will hit both your eBook and physical shelves.  I am in the long process of creating physical versions of all of eight of my books (seven novels and one guitar method), which I plan to sell at my official website KimberlySteele.net.

Forever Fifteen is also getting a refresh, the same book without the not-so-great typos.

I’m also recording a free audiobook for Shadeylight: Vella the Virgin Vegan Vampire!

If you’d like to me to email you when the new edition/s and other things are available, please do so at my first name DOT my last name at comcast.net.  Thanks!

-Kimberly Steele



twilight 50 shades parody shadeylight

 

Shadeylight: Vella the Virgin Vegan Vampire will be FREE on Kindle through the end of March 2015.

 

So you might have wondered what I have been up to since finishing Forever Fifteen… well, I decided to write a parody novella of both Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey called Shadeylight: Vella the Virgin Vegan Vampire.

 

My spoof ties together both Twilight and Fifty Shades with a character named Vella Vaughan, a ditzy but beautiful chestnut haired self-described “petite former fashion model and tomboy” who moves to Sharts, a mall-infested suburb of Chicago, Illinois.  Vella meets Xavier Cash, the dashing CEO of Cash Money Group Enterprise Holdings, an obsessive part-unicorn billionaire with a nasty meat-eating habit and severe mommy issues.  Their torrid romance begins after Xavier rescues Vella from her own Ford Pinto, though he is never sure of Vella’s loyalty because of the proximity of resident Sharts hotties Jean-Pierre La Fine and Juan Changa de la Mer.

 

I poke a bit of fun at my own vamp series, Forever Fifteen too in the midst of all the “oh mys”, “holy Moses”, lip-chewing, weird lapses into British slang, and murmuring.

 

THE BLURB…

What do you think would happen if two of the worst English language books ever written mated and had a lovechild?

From the same sludgy scorpion morass of “inspiration” that brought you Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey comes Shadeylight: Vella the Virgin Vegan Vampire, the scintillating story of a girl who only wants to understand the workings of her no-no without actually touching it or looking at it.

Meet Vella Vaughan, hottie coed at Sharts Community College, the innocent, young, chestnut-haired, virgin sweet dreams are made of. When tri-color haired billionaire and concert pianist Xavier Cash sashays into her life, he sweeps her into a world of sexual intrigue that endangers her chances of wearing magical long underwear on her wedding night.

Xavier quickly finds Vella is not your average Mary Sue. Along with her tractor-beam magnetism (despite the fact she is an antisocial, narcissistic klutz with at least three personalities, including a nymphomaniac, bukkake-porn watching inner goddess and a militant vegan subconscious) Vella has her own vampiric secrets to hide.

Who will win the right to mate with our beautiful, vacuous heroine? Will it be Jean-Pierre La Fine, chesty three-wolf tattoed French-reservation dweller? Will it be Juan Changa del Mar, gorgeous, shape-shifting Hispanican art student? Or will it be Xavier Cash, capitalist oligarch one-percenter with rabid mommy-issues and a penchant for rapey BDSM?

Shadeylight’s ample features include:

-Heaving bosoms and straining zippers!
-Sparkling humanoid wussy men!
-Offensive ethnic and racial stereotypes!
-Grammatical errors!
-Cannabis!
-Trannies!
-Hot guys making out with each other!
-Cthulu!
-Random lapses into British dialects!
-A fast food mascot clown with a bulge!
-Marauding bacon trolls!

Now with 78% less pedophilia than the originals, Shadeylight is the answer to badly written, first person narratives about self-obsessed, skinny white girls who witlessly discard every achievement won for them by feminists past and present. Read it now, lest productive thoughts and actual good uses of your time start getting in the way!

 

 



Honey is my new novella (40,000 words or about 1/2 the length of Forever 15).  It’s my first gay m/m romance. There’s no horror in Honey, representing a bit departure from my usual gory style.

The story:

Over a year has passed since Ryan left Sam. Sam has settled into an orderly, mundane Chicago existence, commuting to suburban hell between spending weekends alone. The only thing that keeps Sam from going mad with post-breakup depression and boredom are a series of erotic dreams about a hooded man who comes to him in a mysterious desert setting. During a freak snowstorm, Sam finds himself coming to the rescue of a homeless, seemingly crazy man dancing in the snowy street. After saving barefoot, freezing Daniel from almost being flattened by a CTA bus, Sam has no other choice but to invite Daniel into his tiny studio apartment to ride out the storm. Sam wonders if he has made the right choice as Daniel declares to Sam that he is Hadraniel, Angelic Keeper of the Second Gate of Heaven. Daniel’s got a few other funny notions, such as the one that Jesus (like his new friend Samuel) was a vegan, and that goddesses, not gods, are largely responsible for all that is good in the world. Daniel is devastatingly handsome and makes it clear that he is romantically interested in Sam. Out of decency, Sam refuses to be seduced by Daniel, not wanting to take advantage of Daniel’s apparent instability and naiveté.

How long can Sam resist Daniel, his would-be angel?

Preview & buy Honey on AllRomance

Preview and buy Honey for Kindle